The Alibi

By this point I've pretty much have settled into my summer routine. I work 3 days a week at an unpaid internship with consists mainly of me counting down the minutes and mindlessly surfing the web like at present. The other 2 days I work at a paid internship which I don't mind so much because well, the money for one thing, the people are friendly and they keep me busy. I can't quite determine which is more exhausting: school or interning. At the very least now I have absolutely no responsibilities once I'm off for the night and weekends. It's nice. I really value my weekends more.

I'm hungry. I haven't done anything of value today thus far. I have no real intention to. I need amusements.

It seems that internships in general consist of idle time and not learning anything. I would be more than happy to be helpful if only they would give me shit to do. What I've learned is: go for paid internships. The measly salary isn't the only draw. Apparently if a company plans on paying you, they sure as hell intend to use you. My other paid internship may consist mostly of busy secretarial work, but at least I have something to keep me busy. Here I am with nothing to do and no where to go for 56 more minutes. I've spent virtually the past 8 hours surfing the web, reading blogs and learning about the myth of the crystal skulls for no reason whatsoever. I'm well fed but trapped without an excuse to leave the building. At least at my other work I can determine my own lunch break. Sitting here all day doing absolutely nothing while getting paid jack shit is not good for my sanity. I'm tired. I'm full of unhealthy fastfood, I want to spend time with the boyfriend, and I need new music. If this is what it means to work full time, I want none of it. I don't want to sit in a cubicle all day and stare at a screen. At the very least, I'll probably have things to do then. If only I could watch a movie or something. Unfortunate I have people walking behind me all the time. My boss is coming back here tomorrow so hopefully then I can have an assignment. Not right to trap people in such a way. Most exciting part of the day might have been when a damn pigeon flew in.

I don't really know what to do with myself right now. 49 min and counting. This is ridiculous. If I'm not going to have anything to do I might as well leave.

I wish I had shit to do. The only time I ever go on AIM is when I'm at work. I gave it up for over 6 months before that. Now I'm online 5 days a week.Great.

I miss traveling. It’s been a whole year since I’ve really gone anywhere. And it’s making me a little antsy. I was digging through all the photos on my computer and found a few I liked from my previous travels. I touched them up in Photoshop a bit.


…From my trip to New York a year and a half ago. Went for spring break while I was still in high school because at that point I thought I could get into NYU. This was taken from the back of the ferry going to the Statue of Liberty.


…From the ferry once again.


…In Boston by Harvard. There was not a chance in hell I’d ever get into Harvard but I wanted to see it anyway.


…From my trip to China last summer. Strolling through the massive park by my grandpa’s house.


…Hiking through the mountains in one of China’s national parks.

I need to go somewhere. I’m going crazy here. And, classes start in a week and a half.

I don’t handle stress too well. And that is why I am posting a rant right now. Getting things down on the screen might help me alleviate a little stress.

I’m moving into an apartment this coming semester with 3 roommates. Each apartment is guaranteed 2 parking spaces. We were in need of 3. The site manager told us a week ago that would be fine. Contacts were signed for 3 parking spaces. I call her today about this and she tells me we can only have 2, regardless of the fact that we already signed for 3. When we informed her of this she simply said that “terms and conditions are subject to change.”

What bothers me about this whole situation is that there is nothing protecting the tenant. The point of the contract is to map out the terms. But apparently these terms can be altered at any time. What you sign for is definitely not what you get. And, the manager doesn’t even have to courtesy to call and inform us of this change. I had to call her just to receive the news.

I’m really tired of getting screwed over by housing. Initially it was the school housing that let us down. We decided to find a place ourselves and now we end up in this ridiculous situation.

I’m tired. I’m frustrated.
I’m stuck here at work for another hour and a half.
Somebody shoot me.

For my internship today, I had to do some research on Life Coaches. And after visiting numerous sites run by people of this profession, I have concluded that they are all full of shit. This one life coach insisted that people are often confused/miserable because they are not CHOOSING to be happy. So clearly, one must simply CHOOSE happiness and it will come to them.

What the fuck is she talking about? Alright then, let’s give that a try, shall we?

I, Mei, CHOOSE to be happy.

Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of jack shit happening. I have chosen to be happy, and yet, I am not. Miraculous isn’t it?

If that really was all there was to it, why should I pay someone hundreds of dollars to “teach” me how to be happy?

It’s all ridiculous. Just solve your own problems people. It’s cheaper.